One morning I show up for my lesson with Coachie and I find her chatting away with an impeccably dressed, well-coiffed stranger. Coachie introduces me the woman, who I will call Scary Mary. “This is your practice judge,” says Coachie. “Go out on the ice. You have ten minutes to warm up and then we’ll do a practice test.”
Oh crap.
If you’re a USFS adult figure skater, you probably will take a test at some point in your career. USFS designs its testing structure on a ladder system, whether you’re a kid or an adult. The adult non-dancing tests consist of two types: Moves in the Field (MITF) and Freeskates. You must pass the former in order to take the former at several levels. Beginning Adult tests are Pre-Bronze and Bronze. After that you move on to Silver and Gold. Each test requires a specific required set of elements, performed in preformulated sequences or patterns.
I passed my Pre-Bronze MITF and Freeskate a while ago and have been working on my Bronze MITF test. The test consists of: forward and backward perimeter stroking; power three-turns; alternating backward crossovers to edges; a Circle Eight consisting of Forward Outside edges and Forward Inside Edges; and a pattern of mohawks and dance steps called the Five-Step Mohawk sequence.
The judges are looking for flow, quality of edges, extension, power –basically that you can do the required elements reasonably well so that when you call yourself a figure skater you’ll have some kind of verifiable proof that you’re not completely delusional.
Like a number of skaters I like the Bronze moves. These particular elements are not complicated and most are about generating power and skating, really skating! Moreover, figure skating tests are incredibly motivating and only improve important basic skills, like edgework. For example, I’ve gotten away with a horrible LI Mohawk for most of my skating life. But since I know I’m going to have to several of these turns well enough to pass a test, I’ve worked hard at improving them.
Unbeknownst to Coachie, I came to the rink today chock full of suck. I felt the suckiness in my bones when I got out of bed and had low expectations for my lesson. Yet here I am, about to perform a fake test for Scary Mary, whose puffy, feathered hair-do and neon blue bifocals distract me enormously.
We do the on-ice fake introductions and Scary Mary asks me if I know the order of test. No! I have no idea! Please let me go! “Yes, I do,” I say and Scary Mary indicates that I may begin.
I skate out on the ice, repeating “bend kness bend kness bendknessbendkness” to myself like an incantation.
The first set of moves go pretty well. I nearly hit the wall on my backward crossovers. Hopefully I get some bonus points for looking reckless. I do the first set of power threes. Agh. Toepick scratch!
Then I do the right-sided power threes. I can feel my legs freeze up and my torso begin to contort. This is always a difficult move for me and despite nine months of earnest practice, they still feel clunky and wrong.
I don’t like my crossovers to landing positions but the pattern is good and I’m starting not to care.
I move on to the Circle Eight. Nailed it! I usually hate the RFI Circle but today I manage to pull it off. It’s on to the Five-step Mohawk sequence and although my LI Mohawk continues exhibit its usual Frankenstein’s Monster clunk, I get through the element okay.
It’s a fake test and I know I fake failed it. I skate over to Scary Mary who is absorbed in writing comments. She asks me to reskate my power-threes and I dutifully try again.
Thank you Scary Mary for taking time to come and give me feedback on my test. I know I sound sarcastic but I really do appreciate the critique.
This is what she wrote:
“ Per. Str. F- body coming up, B. ok but sl. Scratch
3’s L- good pl. and edges, good threes
R-little flat and scratchy, good threes
Reskate better
Edges strong, good edges, good speed and power
8’s O- diagonal strike – little forces [I misread this comment as “little farces” ha ha]
I-OK
X’s rt. Mk OK
Lft jumped”
Coachie seemed pleased. She told me she wanted to put me through a practice test to boost my confidence for the real test. OMG—my confidence is so not boosted!
I spent the rest of the day agonizing over my “hopped” LI Mohawk, so that by the time I came off the ice I couldn’t do one at all.
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